It's that time again. Duc's got himself into another fit. Wants someone's head. And it's your job to do the hacking, what with your being the royal executioner and all.
[["Bring it still blinking and fresh!"|bringit]] he commands.
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(css: "font-size: 150%")[<tw-link class = "title" passage-name = "Sanctum">Bring Me A Head!</tw-link>]
(css: "font-size: 115%")[Chandler Groover]
<tw-style class = "name">Duc's Sanctum</tw-style>
[[Duc d'Aupoivre|Duc]] is sprawled out on his [[bed|bedfirst]] with the shakes. He doesn't look too good.
You can step outside into the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "vestibule">vestibule</tw-link>.
(display: 'inventory')
The Duc's a sweaty heap in his silk gown. He always gets like this. Twitching and moaning and groaning until he has a new chopped head to calm himself.
Talk to the Duc.(click-replace: "Talk to the Duc.")[(if: $item is 0)["What are you waiting for? Those heads won't chop themselves!"](elseif: $item is 'rotten')["That head's putrid, you imbecile! Ugh, my poor sinuses!"](elseif: $item is 'specimen')["Get that $specimen out of my sight! I want a head!"](elseif: $item is 'rat')["That rat's head isn't nearly big enough! Stop wasting time!"](elseif: $item is 'skull')["I said a head, not a skull! Pay attention for once!"](elseif: $item is 'money')["Not a head stamped on a coin, you moron! A real one!"](elseif: $item is 'eyeball')["An eyeball's not a head, you simpleton!"](elseif: $item is 'nag')["When I said head, did I mean unborn horse? No, I did not!"](elseif: $item is 'gazehound')["I absolutely positively did not ask for a gazehound!"](elseif: $item is 'pilgrim')["It is Pilgrimsday, isn't it? Go behead that traitor in the dungeon!"](elseif: $item is 'head')["At last! [[Bring me that head!]]"]]
[[Step back.|Sanctum]]
(display: 'inventory')
<tw-style class = "name">Vestibule</tw-style>
[[Mort]]'s standing guard, (either: "trimming his nails", "scratching his back", "yawning"). Not too professional for a black knight.
You can enter the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "Sanctum">Duc's sanctum</tw-link> or the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "gallery">hangman's gallery</tw-link>.
(display: 'inventory')
He used to be a white knight till a hellspawn scorched him black. Still smoking, armor crackled, soot in his footsteps. His helmet's more elaborate than a papal bull.
Talk to Mort.(click-replace: "Talk to Mort.")[(if: $item is 0)["Let me guess, another head? Good luck finding one this time around. Last I heard, the nearest execution's scheduled for next Pilgrimsday. But you're the expert on those, aren't you?"](elseif: $item is 'rotten')["Had to scrounge for that thing, didn't you? Stretching to call it fresh, wouldn't you say? All right, let's just be honest: you're embarrassing yourself."](elseif: $item is 'specimen')["A bottled $specimen? Well, well, that might not please the Duc, but (text-style: "italic")[certain individuals] have (text-style: "italic")[certain appetites], if you follow. Not me, of course. I'm not without my sins but I've got better taste than that."](elseif: $item is 'rat')["Now you're raiding mousetraps. Talk about pathetic. Listen, executioner, you need to get a grip. Stop carrying dead rats around. Go feed it to an animal or whatever."](elseif: $item is 'skull')["Wait a minute, you mean that rotten head was a hellspawn? Can never tell for sure until they're skinned. [[I want that skull.]] I'll pay for it. Maybe you didn't know: I've got a grudge."](elseif: $item is 'money')["Of course money's worthless. Only a chump would take it for payment. Might as well chuck it right into the moat. Make a wish. Or find someone even more gullible than you."](elseif: $item is 'eyeball')["An eyeball, eh? Pretty sure that the Duc wants a head with the eyeballs (text-style: "italic")[inside] the sockets. I understand how you could get confused... wait, no, I don't."](elseif: $item is 'nag')["Yuck. Scraping scum from the moat? Are things really that bad? Here's a tip: don't scrape scum from the moat. But since you're carting it around, I'm sure (text-style: "italic")[someone] will think it's cute. Someone with a screw loose."](elseif: $item is 'gazehound')["That's Saralinda's pet. You can't fool me. She must've finally bored it to exctinction. I wonder how many more are even still alive out there. That one might be the very last."](if: $item is 'pilgrim')["Let me guess, another head? Good luck finding one this time around. Last I heard, the nearest execution's scheduled for... wait a minute, was today always Pilgrimsday? Something's fishy around here."](if: $item is 'head')["Oh, la-di-da, you chopped yourself a head. What an accomplishment. Not like we haven't been through this a million times. All right, get on with it. Let's not be impolite and hold the dear Duc in suspense."]]
[[Step back.|vestibule]]
(display: 'inventory')
<tw-style class = "name">Hangman's Gallery</tw-style>
Nooses dangle overhead. No help tonight.
From the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "vestibule">vestibule</tw-link> leading to the Duc’s sanctum, the gallery continues with passageways opening into the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "tower">astrologic tower</tw-link>, the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "wing">west wing</tw-link>, and the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "courtyard">courtyard</tw-link>.
(display: 'inventory')
<tw-style class = "name">Astrologic Tower</tw-style>
At the tower's top, [[Ambidexter]] is (either: "tuning a sextant", "calibrating a telescope", "adjusting an astrolabe"). His [[armillary sphere|sphere]] revolves below an arched window. (if: $time is 0)[<tw-link passage-name = "Calendar runes">Calendar runes</tw-link>](elseif: $time is 'pilgrim')[<tw-link passage-name = "Pilgrimrunes">Calendar runes</tw-link>] glow carved into the wall.
You can return to the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "gallery">hangman's gallery</tw-link> below.
(display: 'inventory')
<tw-style class = "name">West Wing</tw-style>
Your skin always crawls in this wing. Candlelight flickers from the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "parlor">parlor</tw-link> and steam rolls down a corridor leading to the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "kitchen">kitchen</tw-link>.
You can return to the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "gallery">hangman's gallery</tw-link>.
(display: 'inventory')
<tw-style class = "name">Courtyard</tw-style>
[[Peppercorn]] is still awake, breaking horses. (either: "Another one neighs and tumbles down a pit whose shaft empties elsewhere", "His wheel groans as another one crumples inside, bones jellied instantly").
Doors lead to the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "gallery">hangman's gallery</tw-link> and the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "east">east wing</tw-link>.
(display: 'inventory')
<tw-style class = "name">Drawbridge</tw-style>
(if: $Molly is not 'gone')[
[[Mollyglut]] (either: 'casts out', 'reels back') her fishing line.
]
Beyond this [[moat]] are lands laid waste. (either: "Ravens wheel below the stars, searching for fresh corpses", "Wolves howl in the distance, no doubt hunting for unfortunate peasants").
You can return indoors to the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "east">east wing</tw-link>.
(display: 'inventory')
This is going to be a [[long night]].
Supreme horologist. He's got more arms than most horologists, hence his supremacy. That shadow on the wall, looks like an arachnid, it's his.
Talk to Ambidexter.(click-replace: "Talk to Ambidexter.")[(if: $item is 0)["My eyesight's going. Just (text-style: "italic")[look] at these cataracts. How am I supposed to map the stars? I'd give anything for a decent ophthalmological repair, let me tell you. All right, not (text-style: "italic")[anything]. Stop staring at my head."](elseif: $item is 'rotten')["What a pity that head's eyeballs have gone rancid. Otherwise I might have been able to pluck one for myself. Anything to counteract these cataracts..."](elseif: $item is 'specimen')["That $specimen won't help me around here. Not unless you think that it could peer into a telescope. Heaven knows how I struggle myself with these old eyes."](elseif: $item is 'skull')["I've grown to sympathize with skulls in my old age. First vision goes, then hearing, memory... soon we'll be skulls together, you and I and that fellow you're carrying."](elseif: $item is 'money')["Goodness, money? Rather old-fashioned nowadays. Nightsoil's more precious in our season. It certainly won't purchase me renewed eyesight. What I'd do for even one cornea..."](elseif: $item is 'rat')["We've far too many rodents. Always scampering under the stones. You've my congratulations for exterminating one. No reason, after all, an executioner shouldn't service vermin."](elseif: $item is 'nag')["I hope you haven't brought that nag to repair my vision... I'm not even sure it's got eyeballs itself. Are those eyes? I can't tell. My own eyes are too poor. Looks like an opened pomegranate, doesn't it?"](elseif: $item is 'gazehound')["Gazehounds were bred to hunt eyeballs, of course, but that one has seen better days. Maybe it's grown tired chasing the same quarry year in and year out. A rare creature to own, in any case."](elseif: $item is 'eyeball')["O blessed day, that's just the cure I need: a new eyeball! One's not as good as two, but one's better than none. If you could find it in your heart to [[let me use it as my own]], you'd have my gratitude and assistance."](elseif: $item is 'pilgrim')["One good turn deserves another. I've got a new eyeball. You've got an execution scheduled for today. Just don't let this slip out. I'm not supposed to rearrange the week willy-nilly."](elseif: $item is 'head')["Thank heavens you secured a head. I'll admit that I thought you might have been eyeballing (text-style: "italic")[mine]. I'd never satisfy the Duc. I'm far too frail. Keep that in mind next time..."]]
[[Step back.|tower]]
(display: 'inventory')
"(either: "Get away from there", "Don't touch that", "Keep your hands off", "Stop poking around")!" Ambidexter (either: "barks", "snaps", "shouts").
[[Step back.|tower]]
(display: 'inventory')
(text-style: "blur")[Garrotsday
Pilgrimsday
Earwigsday]
<text-style class = "text-glow">Houndsday
Martyrsday
Sturgeonsday</text-style>
(if: $item is not 'head')[Here's the problem. One problem, at least. Won't be another execution until Pilgrimsday, and that's, let's see... one, two, three, four, (text-style: "italic")[five] days away. This just won't do.](elseif: $item is 'head')[Still no official execution until Pilgrimsday. At least you found a workaround for now.]
[[Step back.|tower]]
(display: 'inventory')
<tw-style class = "name">Kitchen</tw-style>
[[Lamprey]] doesn't look up from her countertop. She's (either: 'mincing ragwort', 'plucking a rooster', 'dicing deathcaps'). Room's dripping with steam rising from a [[stockpot]].
You can return to the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "wing">west wing</tw-link>.
(display: 'inventory')
<tw-style class = "name">Parlor</tw-style>
[[Saralinda]] lounges on an ottoman, (if: $hound is 0)[dangling an eyeball by its stalk over an unresponsive [[gazehound]] on the carpet.](elseif: $hound is 'active')[dangling a dead rodent over a convulsive [[gazehound]] on the carpet.](elseif: $hound is 'nag')[dangling an eyeball by its stalk over a (either: 'twitching', 'thrashing', 'convulsive') [[natal nag]] on the carpet.]
You can return to the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "wing">west wing</tw-link>.
(display: 'inventory')
<tw-style class = "name">East Wing</tw-style>
Moonlight spills inside from the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "courtyard">courtyard</tw-link>, illuminating a doorway to the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "curiosity">curiosity chamber</tw-link> and a stairwell leading down to the (if: $prisoner is 0)[<tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "dungeon">dungeon</tw-link>](elseif: $prisoner is 'dead')[<tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "dungeon2">dungeon</tw-link>].
One last gate opens onto the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "drawbridge">drawbridge</tw-link>.
(display: 'inventory')
A fellow this humongous shouldn't wear a doublet that tiny. Muscles fit to split the seams. Lice've also nested in his whiskers. Drop out now and then.
Talk to Peppercorn.(click-replace: "Talk to Peppercorn.")[(if: $stomach is 'full')["I am content. Distract me no more from my occupation."](if: $stomach is 0)[(if: $item is 0)["Breaking horses works such hunger into a body. Such hunger as you'd never comprehend. What's that you say about a head? Can't give a toss. My stomach will permit me only one concern."](if: $item is 'rotten')["My gut grumbles for something savory. That head would suit me well without a skull to blunt my teeth with every bite. A smaller morsel would slip down deliciously even with bones."](if: $item is 'skull')["I must have meat to meet my appetite's ravenous want. I must have something tender and lip-smackable. I must have something more than barren bone. You do not know how my hunger racks me."](if: $item is 'specimen')["My tongue quivers in sympathy with that $specimen in your care. My stomach rumbles with a great demand, and my esophagous has already commenced lubrication. [[Feed it to me.]] I want to chomp and swallow and revel in its flavor."](if: $item is 'rat')["My tongue quivers in sympathy with that rat in your care. My stomach rumbles with a great demand, and my esophagous has already commenced lubrication. [[Feed it to me.]] I want to chomp and swallow and revel in its flavor."](if: $item is 'eyeball')["A gazehound has nibbled this eye. Although my stomach quakes for sustenance, I will not have the leavings from some creature's dish."](if: $item is 'money')["One bites a coin to test its worth. Biting a coin would not vanquish the pangs that torque my intestines. I must focus to grit my teeth and continue my work."](if: $item is 'nag')["My guts roil. My stomach's acid eats its own lining. I am famished beyond mortal limits. But I will (text-style: "italic")[never] swallow an equus."](if: $item is 'gazehound')["Morsels that do not fit within the mouth are no morsels. I could not bite a gazehound at that size. I could not chew its backbone properly. At this rate I will not eat on this night."](if: $item is 'pilgrim')["Time stretches and my hunger yawns. There is an abyss grown within my belly. Somehow I feel I've not eaten this week, and that this week has eaten me instead."](if: $item is 'head')["Still cannot give a toss about your head. My hunger will permit me only one concern. More horses need breaking. This wheel will not wait. I'll bite my tongue for what relief that can provide."]]]
[[Step back.|courtyard]]
(display: 'inventory')
<tw-style class = "name">Curiosity Chamber</tw-style>
(if: $sisters is 0)[The Ladies [[Ringworm|sisters]] and [[Ashe|sisters]] are](elseif: $sisters is 'ashe')[The Lady [[Ashe]] is](elseif: $sisters is 'ringworm')[The Lady [[Ringworm]] is] (either: "dissecting a toad", "organizing vials", "mounting lunar moths"). Shelves line the chamber, stocked with various [[pickled anatomies]].(if: $sisters is not 0)[
A dead [[gazehound|deadgazehound]] floats in a tub.]
You can return to the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "east">east wing</tw-link>.
(display: 'inventory')
<tw-style class = "name">Dungeon</tw-style>
Behind bars, there's a [[traitor]] (either: "playing solitaire", "rolling dice", "picking his teeth"), and a (if: $trapdoor is not 'open')[trapdoor in the flagstone floor is locked](elseif: $trapdoor is 'open')[<tw-link passage-name = "trapdoor">trapdoor</tw-link> in the flagstone floor is opened]. [[Pleasance]] is busy (either: "repairing a rack", "polishing an iron maiden", "tightening a pillory").
A stairwell leads back up to the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "east">east wing</tw-link>.
(display: 'inventory')
Ringworm and Ashe share a single body. Two heads sprouting from one ruffed collar. Fingers acid-stained from dabbling in all these poisonous preservatives.
Talk to Ringworm.(click-replace: "Talk to Ringworm.")[(if: $item is 0)["A head to spare? Darling, we (text-style: "italic")[collect] curiosities. Perhaps a trade."](elseif: $item is 'rotten')["Oh my, what a grotesque novelty! Would you care to [[contribute that head|rottensisterstrade]] to our collection, darling?"](elseif: $item is 'specimen')["Darling, we've already made that trade. Now take your $specimen and run along."](elseif: $item is 'skull')["Oh darling, what a shame you've skinned that skull. It would've gone quite nicely in a vat with its epidermis."](elseif: $item is 'rat')["If we wanted rats, darling, we'd catch our own."](elseif: $item is 'money')["Money won't get you anywhere with us, darling."](elseif: $item is 'eyeball')["Darling, that head you gave us still had both eyeballs. We don't need more."](elseif: $item is 'nag')["A splendid nag, darling, but we only collect deceased creatures. Of course, for the (text-style: "italic")[right] specimen, we'd compensate you handsomely indeed..."](elseif: $item is 'pilgrim')["Darling, is it just me, or has there been a hiccup in the universe?"](elseif: $item is 'gazehound')["A gazehound? Darling, you don't realize what a prize you've got! I'd trade my sister's head for such a specimen! Quickly, [[pass it to me|beheadashe]]."](elseif: $item is 'head')["I don't suppose you'd donate that head to our collection, would you, darling? Perhaps another head, another time."]]
Talk to Ashe.(click-replace: "Talk to Ashe.")[(if: $item is 0)["Don't come crawling to us without something to offer."](elseif: $item is 'rotten')["[[Hand over the head.|rottensisterstrade]] We'll make it worth your while."](elseif: $item is 'specimen')["This isn't a returns counter."](elseif: $item is 'skull')["We only want bones with flesh."](elseif: $item is 'rat')["Enough rats in the walls already."](elseif: $item is 'money')[Ashe frowns at your $money.](elseif: $item is 'eyeball')["Our eyeball quota's met for now."](elseif: $item is 'nag')["That nag's alive. Bring something dead."](elseif: $item is 'pilgrim')["Today's not today. Something's off."](elseif: $item is 'gazehound')["[[Give me that gazehound|beheadringworm]] and I'll give you Ringworm's head."](elseif: $item is 'head')["If you won't give us that head, stop flaunting it."]]
[[Step back.|curiosity]]
(display: 'inventory')
What's called a delinquent, that's Mollyglut. Comes from across the waste to dip her line here in the moat. Wears scraps for clothes.
Talk to Mollyglut.(click-replace: "Talk to Mollyglut.")[(if: $item is 0)["You want me to hook something? Gotta pay first."](elseif: $item is 'rotten')["That rotten head won't fetch a ha'penny where I come from."](elseif: $item is 'specimen')["What's that $specimen good for? Doubt it'd sell for much."](elseif: $item is 'skull')["Everyone's got a skull. Market's oversaturated nowadays."](elseif: $item is 'rat')["You offerin' to pay me with a rat? Get outta here."](elseif: $item is 'eyeball')["Expect I'd need eyes in a pair to turn any profit."](elseif: $item is 'money')["Folk to the manor born such as yourself wouldn't know how to handle a coin, but [[smack it in my palm]] and I'll haul you a catch to shore you won't regret."](elseif: $item is 'head')["You finicky lot with your specialty wares. Heads, I swear."](elseif: $item is 'pilgrim')["Odd feeling, like time's skipped. Every day's awful anyway."]]
[[Step back.|drawbridge]]
(display: 'inventory')
Keys jangle from his limbs. He's warden and doormaster. Rattles when he walks. Nobody extracts prisoners without his go-ahead.
Talk to Pleasance.(click-replace: "Talk to Pleasance.")[(if: $item is 0)[(if: $trapdoor is not 'open')["Always on about heads, ain't he now, the Duc? No executions until Pilgrimsday, sadly, but [[maybe I can help|unlock]]. An old rotter's down the hole there. See if that'll serve you."](elseif: $trapdoor is 'open')["Go on, peer down that ole trapdoor."]](elseif: $item is 'rotten')["I never promised that you'd find a pretty head, did I? At least that's more than you came in here with."](elseif: $item is 'specimen')["I reckon you've been to the sisters to procure that $specimen. It's only them would pickle such a thing. Others might eat it, I suppose. Not me. I'm watching my outline."](elseif: $item is 'skull')["Skulls is skulls as far as I can tell. Duc won't like that one now you've scraped the flesh away. You know he wants 'em whole."](elseif: $item is 'rat')["No need for more rats down in this dungeon. We've got one chained up already. That was a prison joke, if ya follow."](elseif: $item is 'money')["In old legends they used to bribe the warden with money for this or that. Toothpicks to wiggle into locks, I'd speculate. Hard to imagine such a practice. Makes you want to giggle, doesn't it?"](elseif: $item is 'eyeball')["An eyeball's got no function I can estimate without a head to stick the sucker in. I typically just toss 'em when the torture's done, myself."](elseif: $item is 'nag')["If that's no varmint, let me just advise you, nothing is. Why you'd want to lug the thing around's beyond my ken. I'd spill it back into the moat if I were in your sabatons."](elseif: $item is 'gazehound')["Back times ago, we used to hunt down traitors with gazehounds from the kennel. They'd smell their eyes and give 'em chase. Now I guess that gazehound's the last one left. Sickly feller."](elseif: $item is 'head')["Well done! The Duc'll be right pleasured with that there chopped head. Let's hope he don't need more anytime soon."](elseif: $item is 'pilgrim')["Sturgeonsday, Garrotsday... well, hell, it's Pilgrimsday today! No matter how: the execution's scheduled and you're free to hack that chained traitor headless. I'll pop open his cell. [[You step right on inside and get busy.|beheadtraitor]]"]]
(if: $prisoner is 0)[<tw-link passage-name = "dungeon">Step back.</tw-link>](elseif: $prisoner is 'dead')[<tw-link passage-name = "dungeon2">Step back.</tw-link>]
(display: 'inventory')
Blood-brimmed. Gore dribbles from a pipe under the drawbridge whose plumbing snakes toward the courtyard.
[[Step back.|drawbridge]]
(display: 'inventory')
Thumbs his nose at you. Sticks out his tongue.
Talk to the traitor.(click-replace: "Talk to the traitor.")[(if: $item is 0)["That's right, I ate the Duc's omelette. Bite me. It's not Pilgrimsday yet, you lickspittle. (text-style: "italic")[Vive la liberté!]"](if: $item is 'rotten')["Bet you wish that were my head. Boohoo."](if: $item is 'skull')["Hope you like that skull. You aren't getting mine tonight."](if: $item is 'specimen')["I ate the Duc's omelette. I'd eat it again. I'd eat a hundred omelettes from a hundred Ducs!"](if: $item is 'rat')["There's more nobility in that rat's tail than your Duc's whole bloodline."](if: $item is 'eyeball')["You're no more than a blind baaing sheep. Open your eyes."](if: $item is 'money')["(text-style: "italic")[La fortune ne fait pas le bonheur.]"](if: $item is 'nag')["We're all tortured souls here, executioner, but you're the worst."](if: $item is 'gazehound')["A dead gazehound's a good gazehound. How'd you like something hunting your eyeballs? Oh right, you're a hunter. Sadist."](if: $item is 'pilgrim')["Here for my head, you sycophant? Your Duc too scared to get his hands bloody? Unlock the door. I'll take the closest shave you've got. I'm not the coward in this farce."](if: $item is 'head')["Still wish that head were mine, don't you? Too bad. It's still not Pilgrimsday. I'm still alive. (text-style: "italic")[Vive la revolución!]"]]
[[Step back.|dungeon]]
(display: 'inventory')
(set: $trapdoor to 'open')Mostly skeletons dumped here from previous executions. (if: $corpse is not 'beheaded')[One's still ripe, flesh turned green, and [[head]] intact.](elseif: $corpse is 'beheaded')[One's still ripe, flesh turned green, but now headless.]
(if: $corpse is 'beheaded')[[[Step back.|dungeon]]]
(display: 'inventory')
(set: $corpse to 'beheaded')(set: $item to 'rotten')You [[chop|dungeon]] the rotten head away. Maggots protest.
They plunge the rotten head into a vat, overtopped vinegar sloshing across the table.
"A trade's a trade. How about an [[embryo]], [[cow's tongue]], or [[centipede]]?"
(set: $item to 'specimen')(set: $specimen to 'embryo')Encased in yolk. Floating inside formaldehyde.
[[Step back.|curiosity]]
(set: $item to 'specimen')(set: $specimen to 'tongue')Tastebuds more proturbant than doorknobs.
[[Step back.|curiosity]]
(set: $item to 'specimen')(set: $specimen to 'centipede')You couldn't shake a stick at all these legs.
[[Step back.|curiosity]]
(if: $item is 'rotten')[(text-style: "italic")[Pocketed: one rotten head.]](if: $item is 'specimen')[(text-style: "italic")[Pocketed: one bottled $specimen.]](if: $item is 'skull')[(text-style: "italic")[Pocketed: one ebony skull.]](if: $item is 'rat')[(text-style: "italic")[Pocketed: one dead rodent.]](if: $item is 'money')[(text-style: "italic")[Pocketed: one $money.]](if: $item is 'eyeball')[(text-style: "italic")[Pocketed: one eyeball on a stalk.]](if: $item is 'nag')[(text-style: "italic")[Pocketed: one natal nag.]](if: $item is 'gazehound')[(text-style: "italic")[Pocketed: one dead gazehound.]](if: $item is 'head')[(text-style: "italic")[Pocketed: (if: $head is 'ringworm')[Ringworm's severed head](if: $head is 'ashe')[Ashe's severed head](if: $head is 'traitor')[a traitor's severed head].]]
Impeccable toque blanche. Poached skin leaking plasma from too many hours bent over a stove. She'd probably dry out and crack somewhere with less moisture.
Talk to Lamprey.(click-replace: "Talk to Lamprey.")[(if: $item is 0)["Some gall for you to show your face again. I'm done helping you run your little errands, understand? Find your own head. I've got to attend to my stock."](elseif: $item is 'rotten')["That head looks too old for the Duc... but it's got tender meat. Been aging in a cellar? Listen, you ought to be a good samaritan and [[let me carve it up]]."](elseif: $item is 'specimen')["I smell vinegar. Is that a pickled $specimen? I don't know how you got your hands on it, but I can put it to much better use. Don't waste a rare ingredient. [[Give it to me.]]"](elseif: $item is 'money')["I've got as much use for money as I have for you pestering me all the time. Go find someone else to bother for a change. I'm busy here."](elseif: $item is 'rat')["Oh, you don't appreciate the rat? I didn't have to give you anything. Sod off."](elseif: $item is 'skull')["I know what you're thinking: bones enrich a stock. Not this stock. It's a base for boneless stew. But my cooking technique doesn't need to meet your approval."](elseif: $item is 'eyeball')["If you brought that eyeball here hoping I'd cook the thing, forget it. Vitreous humor would ruin my stock's flavor profile."](elseif: $item is 'nag')["Don't you dare bring horseflesh into my kitchen! What are we, in the trenches? Get out! This is gourmet stock I'm preparing!"](elseif: $item is 'gazehound')["Saralinda's gazehound... don't tell me how you got it, I don't want to know, I won't be embroiled. Just let me do my damn cooking in peace."](elseif: $item is 'pilgrim')["Either this stock's been cooking too long or not long enough, and something tells me you're to blame, as usual. Whatever. I'll figure things out."](elseif: $item is 'head')["Fantastic. Now you've got a head. Now you can stop annoying me."]]
[[Step back.|kitchen]]
(display: 'inventory')
Claw-footed. (if: $stock is 0)[The stock's simmering.](elseif: $stock is 'rotten')[Smell that meat simmer.](elseif: $stock is 'specimen')[Smell that $specimen simmer.]
[[Step back.|kitchen]]
(display: 'inventory')
Lamprey's knife parts skin from bone. Filleted meat splashes into her stockpot. What remains is an ebony skull.
"I don't need this. [[Take it.]]"
(set: $stock to 'rotten')(set: $item to 'skull')An ebony skull? Must've been a dead hellspawn.
[[Step back.|kitchen]]
Lamprey slaps the $specimen onto a cutting board. Soon it's in cubes, scraped sideways to splash into her stockpock.
"Now what d'you want? I never said this was a trade. Dammit, if you (text-style: "italic")[must] have something, [[have this|ratgift]]."
(set: $stock to 'specimen')(set: $item to 'rat')Did she just pull a dead rat from beneath the stove?
[[She did.|kitchen]]
Mort holds the skull aloft for a soliloquy whose words are his gauntlets crushing its bone to smithereens.
"Petty revenge is the best. Here’s your [[filthy money]]."
(set: $item to 'money')(set: $money to 'bitten coin')One coin with a toothmark. How generous.
[[Step back.|vestibule]]
(set: $trapdoor to 'open')Pleasance stoops to [[unlock|dungeon]] the trapdoor.
Silver hair finer than spider's silk. Diamonds pooled above her collarbones. She's the Duc's something-or-other, and doesn't she let everybody know.
Talk to Saralinda.(click-replace: "Talk to Saralinda.")[(if: $item is 0)["Boredom and indifference frame my life. Not even my gazehound will stir for this eyeball I dangle from a stalk. Alas. Would that I had some fresher prey to tempt it more."](elseif: $item is 'rotten')["You bore me with your rotten head. Begone."](elseif: $item is 'specimen')["Will this $specimen tempt you, gazehound? A pity that you fail to rouse yourself. How tedious you are, my spoilt pet."](elseif: $item is 'rat')["Is that a rodent you bear? Perhaps its beady eyes might tempt my gazehound more than this careworn plaything. [[Make it a present to me.]] I could pinch its tail between my fingernails."](elseif: $item is 'skull')["Nothing is less enticing than a hellspawn skull."](elseif: $item is 'money')["You carry corrupt tender. Leave."](elseif: $item is 'eyeball')["Spirit that eyeball away. It suits my gazehound ill."](elseif: $item is 'nag')["What beast is that whose thrashing shape you clutch to your bosom? A beast more active than my dull gazehound. [[Grant me possession over it.]] I must have a responsive pet."](elseif: $item is 'gazehound')["Remove that gazehound from my sight. This life is tedious enough without a pet drunk on such indolence to drain my days."](elseif: $item is 'pilgrim')["Hours and minutes bleed, dates trade places, but everything remains monotonous."](elseif: $item is 'head')["Yon head will please the Duc. Make haste with it."]]
[[Step back.|parlor]]
(display: 'inventory')
(if: $hound is not 'active')[Deader than a doornail by your estimate.](elseif: $hound is 'active')[Still deader than a doornail. Just more active now.]
[[Step back.|parlor]]
(display: 'inventory')
Her gazehound twitches, thumps, muscles reactive to the dangling dead rat. Starts lurching. Can't lurch high enough to snare the rodent's eyes.
"My boredom, for one moment, breaks. I need [[this|this eyeball]] no longer."
(set: $item to 'eyeball')(set: $hound to 'active')Old eyeball's been nibbled. No wonder her gazehound wanted a new pair to pursue.
[[Step back.|parlor]]
Foremost (if: $specimen is 0)[an embryo, cow's tongue, and centipede](elseif: $specimen is 'embryo')[a rotten head, cow's tongue, and centipede](elseif: $specimen is 'tongue')[an embryo, a rotten head, and centipede](elseif: $specimen is 'centipede')[an embryo, cow's tongue, and rotten head].
[[Step back.|curiosity]]
(display: 'inventory')
Her grubby fingers close around the coin. Starts reeling in her line, casting, reeling until she's hooked a throbbing blob from the blood underneath the bridge. She lands it at your feet.
"There we are! Can't do better'n [[this]]."
(set: $Molly to 'gone')(set: $item to 'nag')She gathers her pole and her line, heads back across the waste with her payment, while you crouch to attend the natal nag. Pupils as luscious as strawberry jam. Succulent pores.
[[Creature's a prize, all right.|drawbridge]]
Plop on the carpet goes the natal nag. It whinnies for the eyeball on the stalk that swings from Saralinda's fingertips. Slurches this way and that in a bid to secure the lure.
"This creature pleases me. [[Take my gazehound away.]]"
(set: $item to 'gazehound')(set: $hound to 'nag')Poor dead gazehound. Just can't compete.
[[Step back.|parlor]]
Such a sinewy and sportive beast.
[[Step back.|parlor]]
You surrender the gazehound and Ringworm wrests autonomy from Ashe, bending their arms to pin her sister's neck to the table.
"Quickly, darling, quickly, [[hack away|beheadashe2]]!"
You surrender the gazehound and Ashe asserts enough control over their joint body to pin her sister's neck to the table.
"[[Chop fast|beheadringworm2]] before she resists."
(set: $sisters to 'ashe')(set: $item to 'head')(set: $head to 'ringworm')Ashe displays no remorse. Swabs at the stump. Proceeds to sink the gazehound into a tub fuming with formaldehyde.
[[Step back.|curiosity]]
Her ruffed collar is stained crimson. The stump beside her head is still steaming. Ashe hardly seems to notice her missing sister.
Talk to Ashe.(click-replace: "Talk to Ashe.")["She'll regrow. Probably."]
[[Step back.|curiosity]]
(display: 'inventory')
Her ruffed collar is stained crimson. The stump beside her head is still steaming. Ringworm dabs the blood with a lace handkerchief.
Talk to Ringworm.(click-replace: "Talk to Ringworm.")["Ashe would've done the same, darling. We think alike. And don't worry, it's very probable she'll sprout again. Until then, I've a gazehound, haven't I?"]
[[Step back.|curiosity]]
(display: 'inventory')
[[Thunk|beheadringworm3]] and it's done.
At least it's found someone who cares for it.
[[Step back.|curiosity]]
[[Thunk|beheadashe3]] and it's done.
(set: $sisters to 'ringworm')(set: $item to 'head')(set: $head to 'ashe')"Ah, darling, you don't understand. Anything is worth trading for a gazehound. Now I'll slip this lovely specimen into a tub and the formaldehyde will do the rest."
[[Step back.|curiosity]]
Ambidexter scoops veined residue from one socket, positioning the eyeball to take root. Its stalk burrows. Twist, pop, blink, blink.
"Details! Crisp clarity! Peculiar depth perception, but I won't complain. In the meantime, [[about that calendar...]]"
(set: $item to 'pilgrim')(set: $time to 'pilgrim')His fingers stretch, palms outspreading.(click-replace: "palms outspreading")[palms outspreading.
His armillary sphere spins and spins(click-replace: "spins and spins")[(set: $counter to 4)spins and spins.
<text-style class = "text-glow">Everything spins and spins</text-style>]]
(live: 1s)[
(set: $counter to it - 1)
(if: $counter is 0)[(go-to: "tower")]
(replace: ?amount)[$counter]
]
(text-style: "blur")[Garrotsday]
<text-style class = "text-glow">Pilgrimsday
Earwigsday
Houndsday
Martyrsday
Sturgeonsday</text-style>
Good old Ambidexter. Pilgrimsday's today.
[[Step back.|tower]]
(display: 'inventory')
Traitor sticks his chin into the air and spits. All dirty defiance. Like standing in this dungeon's making a last stand. They'll believe anything to face the end.
"Your Duc is a monster. I have no regrets. [[Behead me]], you bootlicking bourgeois pig."
[[Thunk|traitorhead]] and it's done.
(set: $item to 'head')(set: $head to 'traitor')(set: $prisoner to 'dead')Pleasance clamors over to discard the corpse.
"A fine chop, that one was. Clean and efficient as they come. It's not a wonder you're the executioner with such a swing."
[[Step back.|dungeon2]]
<tw-style class = "name">Dungeon</tw-style>
Cell's empty now, but a [[trapdoor|trapfinal]] in the flagstone floor is opened. [[Pleasance]] is busy (either: "repairing a rack", "polishing an iron maiden", "tightening a pillory").
A stairwell leads back up to the <tw-link class = "room" passage-name = "east">east wing</tw-link>.
(display: 'inventory')
May you rot pleasantly, traitor, and keep those skeletons in your pile good company.
[[Step back.|dungeon2]]
(display: 'inventory')
His jaws are up to the task. Listen to that squelching crunching mastication symphony. One burp for the final cymbal clash.
"My hunger cowers back to its corner. [[Here, a token.]]"
(set: $item to 'money')(set: $money to 'golden coin')(set: $stomach to 'full')One shining golden coin. Munificent.
[[Step back.|courtyard]]
First things first: he takes his angel corkscrew in one hand, clamps the cap to his scalp, adjusts the wings, begins to turn the worm around, around until it's sunken snug to a sufficient depth, then pulls the wings downward and pop!
He's beckoning. [[Wants you to lend some help.|newhead]]
Screwing isn't as easy as unscrewing.(click: "Screwing")[
Straddle the Duc.(click: "Straddle")[
Grip his new head with both hands.(click: "Grip his new head")[
Turn.(click-replace: "Turn.")[Turn, turn.(click-replace: "turn.")[turn, turn.(click-replace: "turn.")[turn, turn.(click-replace: "turn.")[turn, [[turn.|newhead2]]]]]]]]]
"Ah, much better. This new head is as clear as mountain air before the fall. No migraine left. I do hope it lasts longer than the last. Once they begin to rot, there's no removing a headache without removing the whole head. Count yourself lucky you don't have to live with my symptoms."
You know just what to do with [[his old one|EndSanctum]].
[[Click.|newhead3]]
<tw-style class = "name">Duc's Sanctum</tw-style>
[[Duc d'Aupoivre|EndDuc]] is sprawled out on his [[bed]], examining his new head with a hand-mirror. He looks a lot like, well, (if: $head is 'traitor')[like a traitor](if: $head is 'ringworm')[Lady Ringworm](if: $head is 'ashe')[like Lady Ashe].
No need to step outside into the <tw-style class = "room">vestibule</tw-style>.
(text-style: "italic")[Pocketed: Duc d'Aupoivre's unscrewed head.]
He's lying on his stomach, kicking his slippered feet into the air. Won't tear himself away from that mirror for an hour at least.
Talk to the Duc.(click-replace: "Talk to the Duc.")[(if: $head is 'traitor')["I don't like looking at this traitor's mug, but his head's doing more for me than it managed for him. You know my migraine first started when he ate my omelette. There's poetic justice to this outcome."](if: $head is 'ringworm')["My, my, but Lady Ringworm's head is much more beautiful than my old one. That ought to be a rule: each new head better than the last. Keep Saralinda on a tightened leash. I'll want hers next."](if: $head is 'ashe')["Lady Ashe was rather stuck-up, wasn't she? This face seems set into a scowl. Too much time squinting in those toxic fumes perhaps. I don't suppose her sister will miss her."]]
[[Step back.|EndSanctum]]
(text-style: "italic")[Pocketed: Duc d'Aupoivre's unscrewed head.]
A circular bed draped in [[sumptuous sheets]].
[[Step back.|EndSanctum]]
(text-style: "italic")[Pocketed: Duc d'Aupoivre's unscrewed head.]
A circular bed draped in sumptuous sheets.
[[Step back.|Sanctum]]
(display: 'inventory')
You lift the sheets.(click: "lift")[
No mattress, but a [[mound]] beneath.]
[[Heads,|end]] [[heads,|end]] [[and|end]] [[heads|end]] [[in|end]] [[every state|end]] [[and|end]] [[attitude|end]] [[a person|end]] [[might|end]] [[fathom.|end]] [[Heads|end]] [[that|end]] [[belonged|end]] [[to|end]] [[grizzled men|end]] [[and|end]] [[little girls|end]] [[and|end]] [[women on their wedding days,|end]] [[and|end]] [[prim footmen|end]] [[and|end]] [[drunken sots,|end]] [[and|end]] [[princesses|end]] [[and|end]] [[warriors,|end]] [[and|end]] [[chimneysweeps|end]] [[and|end]] [[parlor maids|end]] [[and|end]] [[matrons|end]] [[and|end]] [[nuns in crumpled habits.|end]] [[Heads|end]] [[that|end]] [[once|end]] [[sang|end]] [[and|end]] [[kissed|end]] [[and|end]] [[said their prayers|end]] [[and|end]] [[spat curses.|end]] [[Heads|end]] [[that|end]] [[schoolmasters whipped|end]] [[and|end]] [[barbers trimmed|end]] [[and|end]] [[actors slathered with greasepaint.|end]] [[Heads|end]] [[that|end]] [[had|end]] [[dreams|end]] [[and|end]] [[nightmares|end]] [[and|end]] [[never|end]] [[knew|end]] [[they|end]] [[would|end]] [[become a bed|end]] [[molded|end]] [[from|end]] [[their|end]] [[discarded skulls|end]] [[and|end]] [[pillowed flesh.|end]]
Here's one more head to join their ranks.(click: "one more head")[
[[There will be more to come another day.|finalend]]]
(css: "font-size: 150%")[<tw-style class = "title">Bring Me A Head!</tw-style>]
(css: "font-size: 115%")[Chandler Groover]